I am sorry that I am such a terrible procrastinator. I am sorry that I have let you get grossly out of shape. I am also sorry that I have allowed you to be the heaviest that you have ever been in your life...at the time in your life that you should be in tip-top shape. I am sorry that you feel very uncomfortable with your body because of this. I am sorry that it is so hard to convince me to get my butt into the gym or the pool. I am sorry for all of these things and more.
--- me.
I had originally written a post apologizing to some of the people that I have done wrong by. I then decided that even though this blog is, to an extent, anonymous, I have told my classmates the name of my blog and they are essentially reading my diary if I keep those apologies up. So, I decided to apologize to myself for my extreme apathy when it comes to taking care of myself.
The terrible thing is that I am fully aware of the fact that my health and shape of my body are completely under my control. I am unhappy with how I look right now because of ME. I am one hundred percent responsible for fitting exercise into my schedule. I just can't seem to find the energy to care much about it other than thinking to myself, "Ugh, I don't like how my body is changing."
This is one of the reasons that I am glad that I chose to write an exercise blog. Writing this blog has really forced me to think about all the reasons I give myself for not working out. It also has reminded me what I enjoy about exercise.
I was reading in one of our textbooks, "They Say, I Say," a little antidote that the authors included to make a point completely different from the point I am about to make. However, it completely relates to what I have been talking about. They quote a woman saying that she feels better when she is in shape. I completely agree with this feeling. I always feel so much better when I have been working out regularly. I also sleep better. So why do I always put it off?
I can see that you do like the English language. I liked your swimming piece. You have some strong verb choices and great descriptors. I liked "icy smoothness" myself. It stands out to me. I really liked the piece, thank you for posting it.
ReplyDeleteThat's a lot of apologies. Reflect but don't every completely regret any situation. I know the situation hurts, even today, but it happens for a reason. Look for the reason, acceptance helps the hurt. I guess I never feel that things are too broken to fix; I'm an optimist, what do you expect?
Thanks so much for what you said about my swimming piece! When I edited my post, I forgot that I had put it up there, and took it off. I think that I should put it back up....but I'm not sure if it fits anymore or not. I am just curious, could you see/smell/feel what I was describing? I always like to hear readers' reactions.
ReplyDeleteI know I had a lot of apologies, unfortunately I have many more I would like to make. I tend to dwell of the past way too much and I appreciate what you said about reflecting but not regretting. I really have to work on learning from my mistakes rather than obsessing over them.
I'm glad to hear that you are an optimist. We have way too many pessimists in the world today.